Yeah, I just might need to go back to seeing the T weekly. I used to do that regularly, until the 1st of the year, when medical assistance went through a big thing wanting me to be done with therapy completely. My T is worried about that happening, therefore, wants to stick with bi-weekly appointments, to prevent the mess from coming up again.

I do see my psychiatrist tomarrow (as a matter of fact). Being "all or nothing" in my perspective, I vowed that I would not return to the hospital again. I know that my body is very resistant to medications, which creates another list of problems for me.

It probably sounds as though I am just coming up with baloney excuses ~ to avoid treatment. But, I'm not. Really! I'm one of those "complicated cases" in almost every way. In all of my illnesses and treatments (over the years), I've found myself to be in that small percentage who has required surgeries, had dangerous reactions to med's, and other med's have had placebo effect on me (despite high dosages). I don't know WHY that is. That's just the way that it is for me ~ and it drives me crazy sometimes!

Obviously, this is one of those times. Why can't I be one of those freakin simple cases to treat? M_a_n....I am just so tired of fighting medical illness and mental illness.

My symptoms of traumatic brain injury have, of course, been exaggerated by all of this stuff ~ which causes even more stress for me! My brain cannot physically take all of it. That is simply a sad fact of my life. So, I have to keep pushing myself harder and harder to just make it through a "normal" day. I'm tired! I don't want to do it anymore. I hate this ongoing feeling of exhaustion, stress, stupidity, etc. Aaaaargh!

Sorry for my download there. But, thanks for listening.