Greenleaves:

I don't know where you live, but....speaking from vast experience I can tell you that in many, many states it is a LAW that if you attempt suicide, or even just utter that you are thinking about it (or even the word) and a police officer, or anyone in the medical field hears you they have to have you arrested and put into a mental hospital for a minimum of 72 hours. This also applies to threatening someone physically. Let me tell you...it is not at all fun, and will make you much more upset. I am not kidding with you or exaggerating one bit.

In addition, any shrink or your family can have you committed against your will. If nothing else, maybe that will deter you from continuing that behavior. Good luck and hope you are doing better. I'm curious, are you on any mood stabilizers? My shrink put me on Tegratol and it has helped tremendously.