Open Eyes : I know your heart is in the right place - and I do appreciate your kind words. But I don't think my T is asking me to stay stuck in the pain - all the things that occurred. What I took from our conversation is that she thinks it would be benefitial for me to ACCEPT that the love and affection that I've wanted from my parents all my life just isn't possible. To ACCEPT my father for who he is and what he is capable of - and NOT capable of. And it is her hope that if I can get to that point, perhaps we can move on to the important business of MORNING that loss. Perhaps I didn't explain that properly...

And as she said, as long as I continue to seek that love, acceptance from him (as evidenced by my call to him on Monday) - as long as I try to achieve with him what he is not capable of, I will continue to be that frustrated, hurt little boy who's trying to get something that isn't available to him. Luckily, there are others who can give me what my father can't. Friends - my wife at home - my T - people I've met here on this site. Support & acceptance is everywhere - just not from my father...

In any event, what she said feels right to me. Feels right. So we're going with that. My T has seen me through all my past attempts to get my father to "see" me. To consider me. She knows all the gory details of my history with him. And she has my best interest at heart. And I TRUST her with what she says to me. She speaks to me with both professioanl and personal experience in this area. And her words guide me.

I truly do value your's and all the other's input I get here. My life changed the day I found this site. I'm no longer alone with my struggles. My T agrees!! So keep dem words of encouragement comin'!!!

I can use all the help I can get!!!!