I think you need to listen to your body, it will tell you even if your brain struggles with it. I figured out I was Bi at a conference... this woman walked into the room and the universe stopped and I nearly had to change my pants! Thankfully she is also Bi as is one of her children. She was in a relationship and wasn't interested in me anyway but she was able to be an awesome support and friend. After that so many relationships with other females in my life made a lot more sense!
Hang in there. We are here to talk to as you need.