I feel scared, confused, judged and misunderstood. I was always aware that I am a sexual human being since I was 5 years old. My healthy curiosity about sex was condemned by mom's constant rants about the evils of masturbation and falling in love. She would ridicule her high school classmates for falling in love. Girls who fell in love always ended up harmed in some way by their boyfriends in her anecdotes. So, I have an issue about anyone in a position of authority judging me to be weird or overly sexual.
The first ob/gyn I went to made feel judged and insulted. The woman doctor said that I have a polyp. I asked her, "what causes polyps to grow?" And she replied, "It is stimulation. You know we pull ourselves here and there." Is she implying that I am sex addict or something like that?

So, I did my research wanting to know more about polyps. That's when I got very angry. Grrrr Polyps grow because of many reasons among them is an abnormal sensitivity to estrogen, etc. Is her vague and absurd response a sign of worse to come?

I have settled for lousy medical care in the past because I ignored little things like this. Looking back, I regret not having walked out of appointments and switched doctors sooner. Other issues I have are having been sexually abused by a family member, and reacting in an overly trusting way with doctors. It is the first time I have had to go to a gynecologist and I have never had a boyfriend. I have never been sexually active. I feel ashamed of being a virgin this long and I feel like a weirdo.

So, I switched doctors to a male ob/gyn. In this case, I also chose not to return. There are many things about him that bothered me. He was not gentle when he performed the sonohysterogram, he told his medical assistant to come and have a look at what was happening WITHOUT MY CONSENT, and everybody ( the gyno, and the ultra sound technician) refused to explain to me what was happening or what was going to happen next.

Please help me. I greatly appreciate you feedback.