i'm sorry that your evening caused you pain. i know how you feel, to want someone to be there but not want to be touched. its difficult when we make progress but others, however unintentionally, remind us of how much we still have to heal. i know that youre feeling lonely, but youre not alone. and being on your own right now, without all the pressures and difficulties of a relationship, will give you the chance to build yourself up, to find the things that will make you feel whole again, to keep discovering all the things about yourself you have yet to understand, so that when you do find the right person, you are comfortable with yourself, with where you've been and who you've become. dont know if this helps at all. keeping you in my thoughts and wishing you the best.