Skittles? I think it is working for you.... of course you still want to cut, as the cutting isn't the real problem, but a symptom. Until you are able to work through more of the real problem causing these feelings of self hate, you will want to self harm. Keep on with the markers.... try various things with it... tell yourself it's enough, that you don't deserve to hate yourself so much...that you will get better and someday won't feel like having to cut.