Welcome and thank you very much for your service to the country. I am very sorry to hear about the problems that you are having with your family.

My mother is bipolar and I can certainly empathize with your situation. Your desire to help your wife is commendable, but I hope you can also focus enough to ensure your own safety overseas.

You're right, the military does have resources to help with spousal issues while you are deployed. I know about the endless forms, however. Gotta have the right DD 123 or whatever.

Also, I have noticed that when my mother is in a manic phase, well, she lies. She lies a lot. Usually in an attempt, conscious or otherwise, to be hurtful. Are you sure your wife's confessions are genuine?

IMO it is ultimately up to your wife to manage her own illness and, while there can be understanding and compassion on the part of family members, I have found that it is very very important to set boundaries regarding the kind of behavior you will and will not tolerate. It may seem hurtful, but, if you choose to stay with your wife, then I have found this a helpful and beneficial way to keep you "there" and safer from the hurt.

Finally, although you may be limited in what help you can provide, I think it is very very important that someone think about your son in this situation as well. Does he understand what is happening with his mother? Is there help (and more forms!) available for him.

This disorder can be so confusing, so hurtful and so exhausting for those of us that love someone with it.

Recruit as much help and as many resources as you can for yourself, your son and your wife.

And keep you safe.