Quote:
Originally Posted by learning1
wikip says "Investigators commonly note the defensive character of this [dismissive] attachment style. People with a dismissive–avoidant attachment style tend to suppress and hide their feelings, and they tend to deal with rejection by distancing themselves from the sources of rejection (i.e., their relationship partners)." |
I didn't notice this "defensive" explanation up there ^ with my previous reading. I clicked on it and explored and read that this attachment style uses the most defense mechanisms and it refreshed my memory that defense mechanisms are for dealing with anxiety! Yeah, I had my share of anxiety. There were 4 levels of defense mechanisms listed. I am assuming that you move up the levels with your degree of personality development. The fourth level of defense mechanisms were mind blowing! Here they are:
Level 4 - Mature
These are commonly found among emotionally healthy adults and are considered mature, even though many have their origins in an immature stage of development. They have been adapted through the years in order to optimize success in life and relationships. The use of these defenses enhances pleasure and feelings of control. These defenses help us integrate conflicting emotions and thoughts, while still remaining effective. Those who use these mechanisms are usually considered virtuous.
They include:
- Altruism: Constructive service to others that brings pleasure and personal satisfaction.
- Anticipation: Realistic planning for future discomfort.
- Humor: Overt expression of ideas and feelings (especially those that are unpleasant to focus on or too terrible to talk about) that gives pleasure to others. The thoughts retain a portion of their innate distress, but they are "skirted round" by witticism.
- Identification: The unconscious modeling of one's self upon another person's character and behavior.
- Introjection: Identifying with some idea or object so deeply that it becomes a part of that person.
- Sublimation: Transformation of negative emotions or instincts into positive actions, behavior, or emotion.
- Thought suppression: The conscious process of pushing thoughts into the preconscious; the conscious decision to delay paying attention to an emotion or need in order to cope with the present reality; making it possible to later access uncomfortable or distressing emotions while accepting them.
OMG! Altruism and introjection are such a part of who I am and it might be keeping me in my dismissive state! I'll have to see what I am doing here and what purpose it serves for me......... hmmmm.........