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May 12, 2011, 12:47 PM
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Member Since: Jan 2011
Location: Hell
Posts: 5,109
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Should i be mad, upset, angry, frustrated? i have no idea what to think.....my auntie who i trust with things and she trusts me to with things....shes getting really angry and frustrated that im always getting ill and when i go to get help all i get is wait...wait...wait...wait....so its what i do....i just wait and wait.......i tell her what has been said and she worries about me but i dont want her to be worried about me...shes only just got over breast cancer and the last thing she needs is me being this way and feeling this way. She doesnt want to lose me but i just feel like she already has done....im not the same person she knew....i know when i was told she had cancer that i wanted to give up because loosing her would have really been my last way of coping.....i feel like i cant tell her things anymore because of the fact it will upset her (she knows i trust her a lot and love her and my uncle a lot) but it still doesnt mean that when i say i wish i was dead or i shouldnt be here that it doesnt affect her because i know it does....she hates me feeling this way and sooooo wants to help but her and my uncle are not fully well....so she cant. should i be mad or angry or frustrated or angry with having to wait? i know i will be seen when i can be fitted in but i dont know how much i can take of all this....at the minute im ill and not really able to think strainght....guess i better go and sleep....i will post back later or another day when im functioning properly. Thank you for reading this and letting me just vent...i dont really like to vent but i just dont know how i should feel anymore or what people want from me.    
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Don't get caught up in what could be, instead appreciate what is. Appreciate what you have & who you have, because the future can take it away from you.
iamspecial is thinking....when all else fails....sit back...look at it....then re-think and start again
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