Hi greensky,

I can understand you not wanting to be on medications, especially when they only sedate you without improving your schizophrenic symptoms. However I can also understand your pdoc worrying that your angry outbursts will come back if you stop your meds.

Perhaps if you can demonstrate to your pdoc that you are acting logically about this, they will feel that they can still work with you and won't have a knee-jerk reaction to put you in the hospital? What I'm considering is treating this like a scientific experiment to prove to yourself and your pdoc whether your meds are necessary or not.

For example, I'm thinking that you could create a table or jot down in a journal:
- what dose you are on,
- how much you slept (to show how sedated you are)
- what schizophrenic symptoms you are experiencing (to gauge the effects the meds have and show that you still get them even on meds)
- how you are feeling and what you are doing at the time (to maybe see if something is causing the angry feelings)
- and maybe even what you've done in the day as a guide to how 'productive' you've been eg if you're too sedated or distracted by voices etc to focus and do stuff

Hopefully this would give you vital information about what triggers your schizophrenic symptoms and what affect your medication is having. I myself have done a similar table to see what symptoms I've been getting since stopping my meds. How do you feel about doing something like this?

Also have you got a T? If not, would you consider working with a T to see if you can learn ways of dealing with your anger that wouldn't make you end up in the hospital??

All the best greensky

*Willow*