How do you pick up and go about your day while mad at your T?

I really felt the pull to get up and walk out of therapy today. I thought to myself, "Well Elana, you've never done that before, maybe it's time to just get up and walk out. Then she'll see how you really feel!" But I didn't get up. I just sat there in that darned silence. I dislike that silence in therapy. Mainly because I can hear the sound of dollars flying by as I sit there. But I do know sometimes silence is all we have in us. It's all I had in me I think because I felt so confused and defensive. I just felt like we weren't connecting...
The depression has been making me feel pretty foggy and short of attention lately. Yet somehow I have also had these intense images from my childhood in the past few days. So I thought maybe I should bring up some early childhood stuff with T. What happened was... Well, when I was little (up to age 4) I lived with my mom and dad in a house in another state. But then when I was 4 my mom and dad divorced and she whisked me off to another state pretty far away. So I often have these images of my old house which I miss intensely. I associate that house with feeling more free and feeling like a kid. I think I have funneled a lot of this emotion into the place itself because I find myself actually intensely missing the neighborhood, the house itself, the environment, the locale.
When my T heard me talk about this she said I was "idealizing" my childhood. She asked if maybe I should accept that my parents were never good parents, even during this time that I keep referring to...
I guess I just shut down. I explained that I didn't think I was "idealizing" it. Hearing what she said made me feel like I was doing something wrong. I was at least able to tell her I was feeling defensive.
I just don't know.
I don't know how to process these feelings.
And sometimes I feel like my T is so terse and harsh and not gentle.
Like I'm already feeling anger over things I lost in my childhood -
and now I feel angry at T for not "getting it!"
But to be honest... I'm not even sure what she's not "getting" - it just all feels confusing. In summary, I feel both disgruntled and confused.
At least I told her that as I left.
But now I feel so disconnected from her. I don't really want to see her anymore and I don't care to go back. I will.
But grumpy about it.