Quote:
Originally Posted by geniousjess
Thanks for bringing it up again in the forum, I only have my phone tues-thurs so I couldn't find it. It was a great post. But I'm right there with you, just a minute ago I said to myself that I don't want to continue down this path again, I've fought so hard to get better (I still have a long way to go) but immediately my ED kicked in saying that I was fat and ugly and this is my only option. It made me feel disgusted with myself for even thinking of quitting. Its hard. I quit my dietician today. She told me that I am headed for heart failure and to please keep her updated so she knows I'm safe. I know I'm taking actions to encourage not eating. But I'm convinced I have it figured out, this time will be different and ill control it. I know the things I think about this are wrong. I know there is no safe way to not eat. I know the risks, and I just figure the goal is worth it. Insane and irrational, but so hard to get past.
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Have you ever been to a treatment facility? Well my prayers are with your loved ones. I can't watch you kill your self anymore it hurts me to much. There a better world you just have to trust me. One more thing before I go. Here's a glimse at what HOW my family found me one day. My husband came home, My son at the time was being home school. He Said Dad I haven't heard from mom all day at the time we were sleeping in seperate rooms. i'm only going on what they told me. So he kick down the door there HE CALLED 911 I was IN CAREIAC ARREST So THEY REVIVED ME AND RUSHED ME TO THE ER WITH A VERY LITTLE PULSE MY HUSBAND SAID IS MY WIFE GONNA MAKE IT MY FAMILY WAS AT MY BED SIDE WAITING FOR ME TO WAKE UP. LUCKY ME I DID. I WAS GIVEN A SECOND CHANCE. SOME MITE SAY IT WAS NOT LUCK. SOME MITE SAY I WANTED TO LIVE ON AND NOT PUT MY LOVED ONES THROUGH THAT AMEN.