Wow, avoice,
You are wonderful, you try so hard to share your strength. I am enlightened by you.
I do not have this disorder but I am glad that you have described it and I can understand it now. I had aways thought that it was a result of some kind of abuse.

Genouisjess, this person is someone worth listening to. I know that sometimes I want to disappear somehow. But, then I find someone like avoice that is struggling too and I can't help to think, wow, someone else is trying very hard too.

It sounds like you are trying to punish a nice person that is inside you. I don't know why nice people do that. I can't understand why, if you are a nice person, that you wouldn't get better and fight it so that others like you have a reason too.

You know I see different disorders that people have and I meet them in a chat or in forum and boy, I am really glad I met them. Sometimes I wonder if somehow we are raised to have to feel or look perfect and thats what hurts us. I wonder if all these perfect images we stare at growing up makes it just happen without us knowing it.

There is no way any human can be perfect. But society seems to make us think that there is some way to be perfect. But, its not even society its all the advertising tricks and what will please us. You know that there are actual studies done for packaging that is more pleasing to the eye. Do you know that they can see certain eye movements and actually know what the design of a bottle is going to be more attractive?

I saw that and I couldn't believe it. But see how tricky advertising, packaging and marketing really is? I cant help but think that this is not such a good thing. Did you even know that the pictures of the models in magazines are so touched up that you really don't see what that model really looks like in real life? Even on television they do so much with the people to make them look so much better. I have met some of them in real life and they don't look nearly as good as they do on TV. Not in person, I couldn't believe that what I saw in real life was the same person on TV.

Do you know that at Model shoots these models wear so much makeup you would not believe it. I happen to see it, and it was unreal.

And thats it Geniousjess, ITS NOT REAL. The images in those magazines that you try so hard to see in the mirror? Even those people who's images are taken and used don't look like those magazine pictures. They cannot even stand in front of thier own mirror and see what they see in magazines.

Next time you go outside look at nature, everything that is natural. Look at the trees that are natural, you will see that NOTHING IS PERFECT, NOTHING.
But you know what? Step outside and see how much nothing perfect can be so beautiful. Look at every tree and how each one is different. I prefer the ones that are all crooked myself, the more imperfect the better, I happen to stare at them longer and ponder in amazement.

Tomarrow morning step outside to the imperfect world we live in within Nature. Bet you can't tell me if you look long enough, its really pretty and amazing. Maybe if you stopped looking at you and look at what the world is around you, maybe you might think that it would be better to not try to be perfect that life never expects that, nature doesn't demand that either. Perfect is not natural. Theres no such thing.

Open Eyes