I'm not in therapy, but I did go to VA for evaluation for PTSD and the Dr who met with me finally gained my trust after the second meeting. She knows more about me that the readers of these posts.

And today i went to the hospital and intended to see her, but instead i found out she is dead. I met w her about 3 weeks ago. She got married 2 weeks ago. adn she died one week ago. She went on honeymoon and came back and died.

I have to tell ya that this has affected me much more than i could ahve ever imagined. Much more than the deaths of some family members.

She was in her 30s. This is a real tragedy, just ike those of soldiers. And it proves once again, do not get close to anyone because thy will soon be taken from you. As soon as i start to trust someone, she dies. it feels like it is my fault. Just like the dead and wounded solders are my fault - please don't get close to me.