Hi,

This is my very first post but I felt I had to respond. I recently went through a very similar experience. I ended my relationship after 21 months... let it end to be exact. While you don't give us much to go on as far as how your gf treats you, it does seem as though she wanted marriage too soon. My ex-gf gave me the ultimatums too, and even though she treated me abusively (probable narcissist), it was still very hard for me to let her down. She often acted like a 5 yo, throwing tantrums, pouting and complaining about how I couldn't commit or was immature etc... She made me feel like I wasn't loveable until I proposed. All the while, she was proving to me that she couldn't give me the kind of love I needed. True emotional intimacy... the connection. That is what I was waiting to feel. Your doubts about marriage are well founded and you shouldn't feel guilty for the way you feel. If she cannot respond in an emotionally mature way to your needs and feelings, that is not something you should put up with. A loving, emotionally intimate partnership is a prerequisite to marriage, not the other way around. Ultimatums of this type have no place in a mature, loving relationship. Obviously you have doubt in your mind that you trust her completely. You need to honor yourself and be honest with her about how you feel. That you are not ready right now. You might be close, but just not May 13th. Tell her you feel this ultimatum is not acceptable for you. This is not how you want to start the rest of your life together with her. If she loves you, she will be there for you, accept your feelings and understand. She will show you she understands that being with you, discovering how you truly need to be loved and working to make the relationship the strongest it can be takes priority over a triviality like when you get married. She has her demands and you can have yours as well. Be open. Be honest. Be true to yourself. That is the key.