I am in a loving and trustworthy relationship with a wonderful man . He is my first love & relationship, we have known each other for four years now and we have been dating for over a year.

The problem is I've realized I create drama & problems in our relationship because after a fight with him, I feel more excited. I feel more sexually connected with him and much happier because there is a certain fire in our relationship, like if we had just spilled out intense feelings instead of this comfortable life that we have now. Its like if we were madly in love but couldn't be together (how things were for us during 1.5yrs out of the 3yrs before we got together). Only by creating these fights do I feel the intensity when he fights back, he's a very patient and kind boyfriend, and its very difficult for him to get upset.

In no way do I want to ruin this relationship by being the drama queen that I am now. How do I get the passion back into our relationship without these fights? What is my problem?