I'm sorry you're experiencing this problem. Was your husband your first experience and this is how you discovered you had this problem? It would be good if you could get some specific counseling(sex) to help you and husband. I'm sure you've been told to use water based lubricants and try different positions, particularly where you're on top and in control of the movement. You can also get specific chronic pain therapy. Here's some sites you may have read already.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/pai...course/DS01044

http://www.merckmanuals.com/home/sec...50/ch250b.html

The above site mentioned an experimental Botox treament to relax the muscles. Learning how to manage the pain and mentally learning how to relax your body during the pain will help. I included a quote below. When you have pain or even the thought of getting the pain again, will result in you tightening up. The goal is to be as relaxed as possible and breath through the pain. You can even mentally remind youself that you're going to be fine and not all pain causes damage. Its important the doctors treating you are knowledgable with this problem. I hope it gets better for you and your husband.

"Botulinum toxin Some Trade Names
BOTOX
(a bacterial toxin used to paralyze muscles or to treat wrinkles) may be given to deaden the pain nerves but is currently considered experimentalbacterial toxin used to paralyze muscles or to treat wrinkles) may be given to deaden the pain nerves but is currently considered experimental"