((((((((((((((zoo)))))))))))))))

I don't have any brilliant ideas, just wanted to reiterate that you are not beyond hope. You ARE worth it. You are still very much in your emotional state and sometimes it is hard to be rational while emotional, at least it is for me. Go with your gut, trust your instincts, get another T if you need to, but don't give up. You can do this. We are rooting for you. Root for yourself, you are not beyond help. I agree with others that it sounds like your T might be burned out, but that is not burned out with you. When you have given yourself some time "off", try to decide if it is worth the effort to repair the rupture with your T. If yes, do it. If not, find another but don't give up! You are strong. We care. And YOU are worth it. ((((((hugs)))))