((((((((Hugs Broom Hilda)))))))))))

Your user name made me smile. I am considering you a "good witch". You asked a lot of questions so I will do my best to answer most of them, at least according to my experience. First, you are smart. You articulated your position very well on here and I understood what you were saying. So give yourself credit for that. When I started therapy I was definitely worse. I am not done with the process. I'm not even sure that I am back to where I was before I started(meaning in ways sometimes I still feel worse). The reason I felt worse is because part of my therapy was to dig up old, repressed emotions that I didn't want to deal with it and that I had stuck away and forgot existed. When those emotions came out, not only were they angry for being ignored but I didn't even remember them and on top of that, didn't know how to deal with them! So that accounts for me being worse. For some people, going into therapy makes me worse in the beginning(or yes, even 3 years in) because of this. That is normal.
Next, you say you have a great relationship with your T. Realize that this is just my opinion and I'm telling you because I care..........but I disagree. If you had an "authentic" relationship you would be honest with him, you would not be worried about hurting his feelings. You can tell him what you said here without being rude. It is not all or nothing. Sometimes it's halfway. He cannot read your mind. Print up what you wrote here and take it to him............and say I hope you can help me but right now I'm not feeling it, it's not working, what can we do different? I agree with Omers that the only person who can fail at therapy is the therapist. But how does he know to try a different approach if you don't tell him? YOU have to stand up for YOU. He cannot fix you. He can only help you fix yourself. If you don't know the answers, that's all good. But you have some info you are withholding from him that he doesn't know, and that is only hurting YOU. I am not saying to change your T, if you have a great relationship that is awesome, but you don't really trust him if you cannot empower him to help YOU by tellling HIM what is not working.
You say you were naive to this process.........boy do I hear you! If I had known what I was in for I never, ever would have started. I think that T's do us a disservice by not telling us upfront what to expect. I have thought of quitting many times but one of my good friends said.............well, you have already opened your can of worms, if you quit, it will stay there festering and smelling, etc. In other words, I stayed in long enough to dig up the problem...........might as well stay around to find the solution. Healing cannot be as bad as acknowledging my issues, at least for me.
You say that you are socially enept. Welcome to the club! Why do you think all of us post on this forum? Because it is easier in some ways to remain anonymous. You are not enept here! Do you want to change that or not? Maybe you are recognizing how much work it will be and are overwhelmed by that? I'm with you on that as well. It is easier to quit, remember that..........but be gentle to yourself, give yourself time, patience, etc. Would you be this hard on a really good friend? Of course not. You would be encouraging, etc. Be that way with yourself.
Hang in there, you ARE WORTH IT! Sending lots of love your way. ((((((hugs))))))