View Single Post
 
Old Feb 05, 2006, 10:07 PM
Genevieve Genevieve is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Sep 2004
Posts: 312
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Greenleaves said:
Do you really think I'm hysterical? I think what you mean is that I express myself in ways that are not the norm here. I have to learn to express myself in ways that will result in more positive outcomes.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Do I think you're hysterical? Define hysterical. And then tell me another way to describe what it is you do. Should I use the phrase "Emotional Dysregulation?" Would you prefer "Emotional Lability?" I hope you have not missed my point, simply because you are caught up in the words I used to express them.

And I think you know that it's not just about expressing yourself in ways that are not the norm.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
You offer wonderful advice to me, but sometimes it seems like people expect me to change just like that...I can't.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

No, GL, I think what people expect is that you make an effort to change. Right now, I've seen a lot of your threads that show you escalating rapidly, and none in which you show any effort to challenge your own beliefs. I've seen you accuse other people of not being fair to you, but none in which you show that you are willing take responsibility for your behavior. Do I expect that you can do any of this overnight? Or even this year? No, of course not. But it would be nice to see you show that you are doing something in your own behalf.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
It just seems like people think that if I get help everything will be OK. Well...newsflash...I'm already getting very good help. I've gotten psychotherapy for years. I've been on meds for years. I've slowly...very slowly gotten better but people still complain that I need more help. No one notices that I'm doing better. It just seems like I'm never good enough. I just want people to accept me the way I am. I'm not going to be able to change overnight. This is going to takes years and years. Nothing, not even seeing a T twice a week for years will create much of a dent in my behaviour. I've gotten a lot of help. I'm still the way I am.

What happens when I decided to see a T twice a week and I'm still the way I am? What will people say then?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Greenleaves, go back and read that over. Use it to challenge yourself, and see where you get.

What will people say if you go to therapy twice a week and stay the same? That you're not working in therapy. At least, that's my guess. Therapy isn't something that happens to us, it's something we work at, if we want to change. In your case, if you prefer, you can put your energy into changing other people so that we all accept you as is, or you could put some energy into correcting some cognitive distortions, or just learning to soothe yourself when you get upset.

Oh, and please think about what you're asking from other people when you threaten suicide. Frankly, I would say that threatening that regularly would be a sign that hospitalization would be appropriate, providing there is intensive therapy to help you learn alternate coping strategies.
__________________
There is no heroic poem in the world but is at bottom a biography, the life of a man; also, it may be said there is no life of a man, faithfully recorded, but is a heroic poem of its sort, rhymed or unrhymed.
Thomas Carlyle in essay on Sir Walter Scott