I know.

It just would have been totally awesome if she'd just said "yeah you're fine." I grew up with a mom who would literally scream at me and my sister that we didn't love her enough and nobody would ever love us, and it was all our fault because we were terrible terrible terrible terrible children. (And I see myself in her a little too, with the asking for confirmation of basic stuff, like my value!!!). I kind of wonder if I even need therapy or just you know a little reassurance sometimes! I hate that there's this extra layer now and for me it sort of feels like a new game.