Was wondering if any of this below resonates with you.....
does this seem familiar?
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an inability to tolerate the levels of anxiety, frustration, rejection and loss that most people are able to put up with, an inability to soothe and comfort themselves when they become upset, and an inability to control the impulses toward the expression, through action, of love and hate that most people are able to hold in check.
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or this?
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Emotions are unstable, fluctuating wildly, often for no discernible reason. Thought processes are unstable—rational and clear at times, quite extreme and distorted at other times. Behavior is unstable—often with periods of excellent conduct, high efficiency and trustworthiness alternating with outbreaks of regression to childlike states of helplessness and anger
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though I think the "for no discernible reason" is bunk-- there is a reason, it may be subconscious and not apparent to others but the reason does exist in some plane.....
I don't think the way you feel and think is a mystery-- I think there are a lot of people similar to you.
and I understand, it can sure suck.
fins