I dislike it as much as I dislike doing something unfamilar. Right now with the weather and the songs I'm listening to all I get the feeling as if it were summer last year, and becaues of that it's making me miss people I shouldn't miss.. And I do mean SHOULD NOT MISS.

I can never go back to the past, never go say hi or see this person again. It would be harmful to my mental health but this deja vu.. ugh, it makes me feel like I'm missing a piece. I'm not, this is exactly how life should be, without that person, without talking to them or thinking about them.. but jeez. It's making me feel so uneasy, and restless, it's making me try to justify everything, sugar-coating that harmful behavior I received... I got through a month without one regretful feeling, and before that was THREE months. What's wrong now???

Usually how I handle things like this is flooding myself with new people, experiences and feelings. I've been unable to do that this time around. Last year it was school, the year before that was online friends. This year I refuse to get back into online gaming so I can stop surrounding myself with those people who encourage my isolation on the computer. But I'm not in school currently so I can't sink into that either.

Ugh, How do I make this go away?