(((((((((Elana)))))))))))

Give the meds some time. I've never really noticed any effect of meds until after the three week mark. Pursuing treatment is overwhelming, scary and even discouraging sometimes, but you can do this!!! We're all rooting for you

I don't know what to tell you about wanting to be engaged except that I know how you feel. I am in school but I lost interest in my major ages ago, so I feel kind of listless, like I'm paddling against the current and not getting anywhere. I'm glad you've been reading your al anon books, keep it up! Is there another project you might like to work on? It doesn't have to be anything big at all. Sometimes to distract myself from my own listlessness I give myself little challenges. Rearrange a bookshelf, crochet a scarf, learn everything I can about a random subject so I can feel engaged in learning again ... Just anything, really. I think that we create our own purpose in life, and purpose doesn't have to be anything bigger than taking care of ourselves and getting from one day to the next, which it looks like you're doing pretty well right now.