If you feel that it bothers you and happens often, you aren't being too hard on your friend. If you felt "totally attacked and humiliated" this obviously isn't a very healthy relationship...
Laughing at your son for "crying?" Are you kidding me? That sounds pretty reptilian to me. I would go GTFO and make some new friends if I were you. I will say though that if you put out a vibe that you are competitive, that's the type of relationships you're going to attract. Just be aware of how you might set yourself up for a relationship like the one you were in.
Obviously you need to know what type of people you want to be friends with and then play the part. If you want to be friends with someone who is compassionate, caring, helpful, and intelligent, yet you are not reciprocating, they are probably not going to want to be friends with you.
If you have attracted these types of people over and over again, then you're absolutely right, when saying "it has to be me." The nice thing is that you get to choose who you want to be friends with and who you don't want to be friends with. It is possible to find a friend like you describe, you just have to be emitting that same type of personality from within yourself first in order for another person with those same traits to become friends with you.
Hope that helps... I think you're on the right track with recognizing that something's wrong. Don't get upset if you aren't able to find the perfect friend right away, at least you're trying and at least you KNOW WHAT YOU WANT in a friendship! Most people are stuck in an unconscious haze and don't even realize that they are in an unsatisfying relationship.
Best of luck!
Quote:
Originally Posted by mind-body-soul
As an adult, I seem to always choose the wrong friends. Something ends up happening and we end our friendship badly. I tend to only befriend people who think they are better than me and when I get sick of being put down or being used I end the friendship. Usually, the end of the friendship is when I basically go off on them. For example, my father was very ill and dying. I took it pretty hard although we were not that close in my adult life. My hair started to fall out to the point where you could see it. I got extensions to cover of the spots. To make a long story short, my so called friend and her husband preceded to make fun of me. During their sons birthday party I felt totally attacked and humiliated to the point where I left the party. The things they were saying to me were unreal. Although, she apologized I feel like I can not be friends with her anymore.
Being her friend feels like being a follower. I participate in all of the activities she wants to try but not vice-versa. Her son beats my son up and she doesn't make him apologize or discipline him at all. Her husband even laugh at my son because he was crying! She is always competing with me. We recently purchased a new home and she had nothing good to say about it. I mean I was not looking for any compliments or anything but it was uncalled for to make rude comments.
I am just disappointed I can not find a true, genuine friend. Maybe my standard's are too high. Is it possible to find a friend who is happy for her friends and not jealous? Who disciplines their children and not treat them like they are better than others and therefore can treat them with disrespect? Who doesn't have Caddy comments for her "friends" and who are not selfish?
What am I doing wrong to attract these kinds of people because this is not the first time. It has to be me!
Or am I being too hard on my friend?
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