Although I have experienced group therapy before, nothing prepared me for this one. Both therapists stand in the background and even if a member is acting manipulative towards the other, they don't do anything but observe and ask a few questions. As early as the first session I found this one woman whose presence terrified me. When the session finished that day, I felt that I had become her. I felt a heavy weight descend upon me and walked clumsily for a few hours until I realized that I had either fused with her identity/self and/or my boundaries had been violated.
At the end of the second session, I ended having lunch with this woman. Even as I had told myself that I would do my best to avoid getting close with her. She remained me of everyone in my past with whom I had had bad experiences. True to that hunch, she made lots of assumptions about me and somehow I got the impresson that she would have preferred to be elsewhere.
Now, the third session has been the worst. Prior to the third session, I sent three emails to both of the therapists expressing my distressful state and that I feared the woman might attack me physically if I refused to be her friend. "Thank you for voicing your concerns with me. I encourage you to express yourself during group session. No member will be allowed to attach another member....," is what I got from them with more or less elaboration, but avoiding saying anything that would bring me peace of mind. They left me alone to be verbally abused not only by this woman, but also by other members who wanted to "make it all better" for her. And all I did is bring up two instances in which she had had a negative impact on me. It was enough for her to become a drama queen in a split second. What I said was:
1.- When you said that maybe my dad cares for my welfare when he said that I should consider not staying in the University library til midnight, I started doubting that my resolve was a healthy move for me.

2.- I found it mean and insensitive of you to tell me how your parents can be abusive, but not so rejecting and controlling like mine. It is like making fun of someone with a serious problem like anorexia.

In an alarmist to she replied, "You're saying that I am one of your abusers! I would not do that. We're both survivors of emotional abuse. You're saying that I've sided with your abuser...."

Ever since last wednesday, I have battled thoughts of what I could said in response to her accusations. At other times, I found myself imagining trying to make her see how distorted is her perception is. But wait, I already tried that and she responed in a condescending manner stating that this one point I was making was OK, but not to go into what I had said at the beginning.
I felt so lonely and so eager to please the therapists. I tried to make myself believe that I was feeling grounded and healed, but a few hours later it became clear to me that I was in a very uncomfortable and desperate emotional state. It has been very hard to focus in school work and I still feeling emotionally drained. The therapists don't seem to care as they claim. Had I known before joining how standofish they were gonna be, I would not have joined. They never advised me while the attack was going on as to the proper way to express my concerns.
Has anyone of you ever had a similar experience?