It sounds as though you learned something about yourself from this, a positive step

My T has never told me to stop, just checks with me from time to time how often it is happening. It is a coping strategy that at the moment works - although there are healthier ones that I try to use. However I think SI can be an addiction - endorphins are released that make us feel good, so it is hard to resist those short term gains of release.

My motto is that I have not failed until I completely give up trying - great things can be achieved with small steps.