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May 14, 2011, 10:37 AM
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Member Since: May 2011
Posts: 78
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you are brave to be asking this question. confronting is a huge decision, entirely yours, and it scares most people to even think about it. so give yourself a big pat on the back for valuing yourself enough to take courage and ask the question.
confronting in some form (like letter without sending) has been shown to help recovery. it is a way of saying "i am not the one who is to blame or shamed." it states the truth so our self image can be healed. we feel empowered, not victims. we start to live more in the truth of the here and now. we say we are WORTH the truth, and deserve the same basic human rights to safety others have.
that said, as others have shared, it is a painful and often disruptive experience. 90% of sex abusers for example deny, even when faced with DNA evidence. people who will abuse will also lie. are we surprised?
so confronting imho must be heavily buffered by therapy work and social support and planning for every possibility. then you may decide to confront in person or another way, or you may decide to share only with trusted people, or give your testimony or write it down. narrative therapy is excellent for telling your truth and feeling cleansed. i wrote a book at my T's suggestion and it is 20 chapters of raw, gripping truth that flowed out of me like a cleansing river!
you are asking the right questions and being proactive! best to you! 
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