diz, I forgot to say, my thoughts and feelings about bpd were in no way triggered by your or anyone else's posts. Really.

My T has never been very focused on talking about bpd, and so I haven't either. I figured I am the way I am and I will work on changing that, giving it a label isn't particularly effective. Except in this situation, when I am sort of slapped upside the head with behavior that I seem unable to control or to change. That makes me start to wonder why, and that leads me to reading more and the more I read the more I see myself in textbook definitions of bpd.

anyway. It's not you, and I don't want you to feel bad or guilty.