Cutting can help - it can release endorphins that help to soothe, as with many coping strategies that we have learned to help us survive, the immediate effects mean that we want to repeat the behaviour, to get that relief, despite the fact that we feel guilty later on.

My T checks with me occasionally whether I still SI, but has never told me to stop as my T has said it is the way that I know to cope and if that is taken away I will just be left with the bad feelings and not knowing how to deal with them.

However you do not deserve to feel the pain, nor so you deserve to have faced whatever it was that led you to wanting to cut yourself in the first place. Healing takes time, but I have faith that it will happen.