Quote:
Originally Posted by WePow
((((((Zoo))))))
Yes. It IS ok to have both emotions - the need to be with T and the need to not be with T.
A big part of healing in therapy is growing up emotionally. Learning how to take care of little Zoo is a big part of that process. The thing is that you (and I) are almost like emotional teens trying to raise a young sibbling. We desire the adult ability to handle these things in healthy ways, but we still don't have the skills.
Allow yourself this space and room to grow. Ts know that this is all a part of the healing journey.
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I wonder if my T does know that.
She feels so far away, it's amazing to me to think I saw her just last Monday. When I think of her it feels like I haven't seen or spoken to her for years. I can't imagine how I ever felt close to this person that seems almost a stranger to me now.
I wonder if this is my way of protecting myself, my way of distancing from T so the parting won't hurt as much. I say this because it feels almost dissociative to me, the way I can't hold T in my mind, the way I can't remember how I felt about her or how her words could heal me. It feels like looking at someone else's home movies.
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She left pieces of her life behind her everywhere she went.
"It's easier to feel the sunlight without them," she said.
~Brian Andreas