Are there any mental health clinics in your area that accept sliding scale payments? The community resources usually base your fee on income and will work with Medicare/Medicaid for payment options.

Don't feel bad about not be able to find the words with your Pdoc, I went through that for years with my T. Have you ever tried journaling? When I couldn't find words, I would bring in journal entries and we would talk about those.

I definitely think you are trying hard enough, you have a lot on your plate and it's normal to feel overwhelmed with so much going on.

Maybe keep reminding yourself of your successes and don't be so harsh on what you see as failures.

I'm not as good of a cook as I'd like to be, but I manage
My home is not sparkling clean, but it's home and I'm doing the best I can
I dedicate all I can to my mom
I learned to drive
I completed art school

I don't see you as weak or as a quitter at all!