Quote:
Originally Posted by zooropa
I wonder if my T does know that.  She feels so far away, it's amazing to me to think I saw her just last Monday. When I think of her it feels like I haven't seen or spoken to her for years. I can't imagine how I ever felt close to this person that seems almost a stranger to me now.
I wonder if this is my way of protecting myself, my way of distancing from T so the parting won't hurt as much. I say this because it feels almost dissociative to me, the way I can't hold T in my mind, the way I can't remember how I felt about her or how her words could heal me. It feels like looking at someone else's home movies. |
maybe like a drifting apart, rather than a dissociation; a distancing? but dissociation is like a separation I guess.....and goodbye is a separation, a dissociation from being so involved with someone, perhaps! sorry, got that muddled.......
actually, I have felt this about my T too at times recently, when I am not with her, she seems far away, but I see it is because my attachment to her has evolved and is not the desperate clinginess it was. I recognize that I still need her, but don't feel so in love with her, I guess it is!
So it's a change in the way I feel about her.....but not being ready for goodbye yet at all, I know that. I still need her and need therapy......