granite, I can understand your fears, I think. The session before last, you were getting into feelings and telling your T what you never have before. You posted how scared and upset that made you feel. Then you backed off last week and didn't talk. It seems like you want to try again but the fear is overwhelming!!! That's totally reasonable.

Can you just tell your T first thing, that you don't feel good and you're scared? Or, just "I'm scared." That's all you need to say. I'm sure she knows you're not fine anyway. If we were fine, we wouldn't be in therapy.