Welcome to PC Hubby_1016!

First off, I admire your concern, patience, and dedication.

Unfortunately for me it took a long time before I was diagnosed because the whole picture of my life was not taken into account, only the moods at the moment, not the in between times and not a full history. It took going to a different provider(s) before someone considered BP and the appropriate treatment options. Not to be discourage but it can be difficult to diagnose, and takes the right provider to help. No one but a professional can diagnose but I can understand your concerns that the treatment receiving is not working.

I can't speak for the spousal relationship but have seen it with other family relationships, trying to encourage someone to go for themselves, to find what will help them, and to find what works for them, even if they blame everyone around them. I had to point out that the help is there, I was concerned for their happiness, but finding the help that they really can use to get them to place that is there for their benefit. If something is not working, it's time to try something else and it may mean with another provider. Scary as it may be, the gain can be invaluable and want them not to feel so miserable anymore. In my case, I did not let it seem one-sided, knowing I was supposedly the route of it all, and made sure they knew I would be going to indiv therapy as well. I don't know if this is an option but something to consider, and joint therapy at the same time or later. It brought them around in my case finally.

We can encourage and emphasize it's for them, to get them/us individually to someone who can help and get treatment that's needed, knowing deep down you are really considering everyone's well being in the process. Self care and preservation and for the children is in order so be sure to take good care of you in the meantime. Hoping for the best for y'all!!!! Hang in there.