I've been going through many life changes lately and its been hard for me to take it all in and to deal with each of them.

- Moving to a new apt and having to live with strangers
-Huge falling out with most of my family members
- Constantly trying to adapt to the side effects of the seizure medications
- Soon I'm traveling 300 miles away for MRI for my seizures
- Got the word that I could get the brain surgery in July 2011
- Wanting to apply for the master program for Rehabilitation Counseling
- Looking for work in social work
- Having seizures about once a week

In that list there are life goals that I want to achieve but there are things in that list that has held my emotional mind hostage and I just can't get out of it. I want to get out of the state of mind where its so painfully dark. I see the good thats ahead of me but I feel bind to my knees( lack of confidence, not good enough, failure, fear). I'm my worst enemy is what my bf tells me and he tries very hard to hold me up as though I'm drowning. He loves me dearly and it frustrate him that I'm not myself.