it is so hard to not think about it. it affects alot of things so i am reminded all the time. but will try not to. i do understand that t has and needs her own time. and i rarely email her between sessions. i just mean that sometimes i need a quick connection with her. but maybe thats not reasonable either. its just that now that im in t the stuff is becoming more in my awareness. but i guess im still need to be able to handle it alone. i just didnt realize that part. i dont understand all of the rules of t stuff yet. but am learning thanks to pc. i am so overwhelmed right now but will find away to deal with it instead of emailing her. i do want a healthy t.