well today seemed quite interesting,

i went to school today and i was a nervous wreck. it started out getting there, and i was completely nervous. I was looking for her car in the parking lot, heh. Then i walked inside and i i was the second person there in the cafeteria where we wait for the bell to ring at 8am. Anyways, this really other hott teacher walked in and i couldnt help but to stare. lol. It was wierd because right away i thought of my therapist/lunch aide. heh. yeahh, anyways, the bell had rang and so i walked up stairs to homeroom. I then told my friend Christine who has "her" for individual therapy. She's like, i wont tell a soul..anyways...she said that theyd probably take me out of fam. therapy with her because of a relationship problem or something along those lines, lol. im like, wtf?? (i was thinking about talking about it with my individual therapist, thats why.) soo, she even said that both of my therapists talk to eachother, its so obvious they share eachother's opinions and thoughts about the students. anyways, i was nervous ALL day, she came by my science classroom by her office and was looking for a girl named, Amanda. I turned around-got bright red im sure, and was about to die, lol. So, then i went off too hisotry, saw her there too. i couldnt even look her in the eye because i knew i would just keep staring at her or give glances towards her. heh. Anyways, lunchtime came. She sits literally like...10 feet away from our lunch table. So i was talking to my friend Christine about "her" and joking around with me. Then we started to talk about how we wanted to get really drunk and high this weekend. lol. I think she might of heard both of the topics we were talking about because, she was staring at me i think like looking almost suspicioius at what we were saying. lol. ehh lifes full of surprizes. My heart is like pounding right now, and im home...and im all nervous and shaky and my nerves are ALL over the place. idkk, its turning into a real problem for me, shes all i think about and i cant stop thinking about her every minute. idkk, great..its going to be like this every day so far this week, ill bet anyone a billion dollars! haha. i swear i know it. and i cant talk about it with ANY of my therapists, especially in group therapy, that would totally blow. haha. yeahh, so0o0o, idk what to do anymore to be honest with all of you...thats like, all who im attracted too, older woman, ESPECIALLY in authority. haha. sounds crazy?? idk, i guess so. Well, anyone with questions, comments, or advice for me, please do NOT hesitate. Well, thanks for listening everyone.

deb<3

PS--does anyone know where i could meet any older lol--single lez's anywhere? lol, sounds wierd i know, but..maybe i could have a better chance???

boo.

i want her so badly.