Hi Blinkle
I was also re-reading the responses on this forum and wanted to repeat what Paraclete said on pg. 1

Paraclete: 'As for whether they (those who 'embrace' their loving feelings for their therapists) end up worse off, that depends largely on how competently the therapist navigates the client through their transference. This can of course end terribly if the therapist a) oversteps professional boundaries and allows the so called "lucky" client to act on the feelings or b) is inept and unable to help the client process them, thereby leaving them floundering to make any sense of them at all.'

Perhaps T did intentionally mistreat you (very possible) or was just totally inept (also possible). Perhaps, worst of all some of a and some of b was involved too. I don't think someone could be very experienced at age 31, but I think the role of T automatically invests T with a lot of power. No matter how they handle it they are in a position of authority, making it much easier to appear mature. Also, you are meant to confide in them, and this is necessarily intimate. Whatever the age diffs, I think the client plays the child in therapy and the T, the ideal parent. And so, in a way, you were meant to 'fall in love'. He, in turn, was responsible for keeping appropriate boundaries, and making YOUR issues the centre of the therapy, not his own! It seems to me that he was primarily concerned with his own desires, and needs (whether or not the details of your suspicions were correct) and not yours...