BroomHilda.
Reading your thread is ripping me up. I wish I was open enough to have written this, it's my own experience too and you've said it so clearly. I read the wisdom coming from others and I think, I can't say more / better than that.

Then I read this and it staggered me.
Unlike your parents, who were not of your choosing, the T has power over you because you gave it to him. Yes it's an inequal relationship; if it were equal you would be friends, maybe friends helping each other, but you didn't go there to find a friend - you went to find a guide. The T has power that you give; by opening yourself, by holding up the broken shards of your earlier life and saying, what do I do with these?

Yr T has power that you give... and has power to help you if you give it. I know that's a hard saying. Judith Herman writes that an abused person was in no way responsible for her abuse, but she is responsible for her recovery - and the first time I read these words I got so angry. It seemed to be too much to ask. But... practically speaking... how can it be otherwise?

I hope you can lay all this out for yr T and the two of you can go through it for as long as it takes to help you. In my experience this is the hard part of therapy, demanding a trust that I never knew could be asked of me (and which I have personal doubts I can achieve, but I'm still trying). You have a great desire to heal; please go gently. Healing takes time.