I once had a T tell me that I get angry and have an explosive temper because anger is empowering. Tenderness, sadness, loving, whatever the gentler approach is, feels less empowering and doesn't give me the same sense of control. However, that sense of control and power is fleeting and has to be regenerated time and again. The payoff I get from taking the gentler approach is generally longer lasting and more rewarding over a long period of time, but it's harder to achieve and takes more effort on my part... you could compare it to having a long talk about a difference of opinion, where you end up coming to a resolution through an open conversation, versus having a big fight where you end up in hot make-up sex, but did you ever get to the root of the problem that caused the flare up in the first place? Don't look at it as a passion issue - look at the possibility that you get a little rush out of running the show, and that fighting is emotionally easier than actually working through something to get to a long-lasting resolution. It's a lot of work. Relationships are a lot of work. Make sure you aren't pinning the cause on "passion" when in reality the issue is your manufacturing more immediate gratificaiton and emotional reward for you at the price of long-term, relationship building, power-sharing resolutions.