Thanks to everyone for their welcome backs and hugs. It's such a close knit community and yet at the same time so open and inviting. I was in the hospital because I had done something self-destructive, I'd attempted suicide. I wish I could say that I was joyfully eager to resume my life now, but life is never that clear cut for me (my mom said I must have decided to take the AP version of life, and if so can I switch streams now?) I believe that it is a good thing I survived, but now I have to reassemble my life. My life wasn't all together before I had this breakdown, but it's even less together now. I can tell all of you the things I should be doing to put my life back together. I can talk about sleep schedules and nutrition. I can talk about taking my meds as directed and using therapy to it's fullest extent. I can talk about building a support network. I rarely manage to put words into actions, and when I do actions don't change to habit (or at least they haven't yet.) I doubt my ability to avoid falling apart again. I don't believe I need to be in the hospital though. I just am venting here I guess about how hard it is to change thoughts into actions.