Unfortunately, I'm good at seeing both points of view She definitely has one and I think has made it clear to you.

You can marry her or not. That is the choice, in very basic terms. If you were "thinking" of marrying her then I would probably choose to marry her. However, you are very uncomfortable with coming to that decision, making a choice, would continue to just go on "quietly" without feeling any pressure, for how long? That would be in your control; she would be at your "mercy" as to when you all would get married. You would effectively control her wants, her "demands" (ultimatums), her ability to make herself a life of her choosing.

She is "allowed" to want what she wants, just as you are allowed to want what you want. But, you are at an impasse as a result. It comes back to what you want? Since she can not make you ask her to marry you, she can only "leave" because you are taking too long for her, you have to decide if you want to move out of your comfort zone and ask her like she wants or if you don't like having to choose now (and maybe having to make other choices in the future sooner than you would like) and want to find a woman who is more on your timetable? Which is more important to you; having this woman, you say you love or being comfortable, not being pressured to "get on with it"? You have different styles of making decisions.

I might "pass" on marrying her now and go into therapy myself to see if I couldn't iron out my fears of making a mistake or deciding too "soon" or having issues from my previous marriage and relationships? Or, I would marry her and go into therapy and explore it from this relationship