Hi, Farmer4, welcome to PsychCentral (PC).

Sounds like you and your husband have a tough situation. Your husband claims all you all's problems are because of your sexual issues? You know that is not so! But I cannot think how you can help him against his will. I would keep trying to talk to him but also work on other aspects; see if I could figure out a way financially to support myself and my children in the future, if it becomes necessary. Do you all go to church or belong to any other social organizations or do you know other older men who might "counsel" your husband, help him feel more balanced and better understand your situation?

It is not all your fault! Do you have any friends you can talk to, older women you can ask advice from? It does not sound like his family is very supportive of you all, how about your family?