I came very close myself thursday night. What saved me was my reading my printed out email from a friend that says -

"you are just going to keep finding hope in Hell aren't you. They don't call us survivors for nothing."

That email reminded me that -

1. I wasnt alone she is there for me.

2. the person who sent me that email and I have already survived the worst hell on earth. What is happening to me now is just an annoying lifes award (after effect). I am a survivor. I survived the hell so I will survive the annoying lifes rewards too.

3. The word hope has special meaning for me because it was the name of a support group I was in and those members are still there for me so again I am not alone.

4. Keep looking for that positive of hope in hell.

I use this email affirmation often and it helps each and every time I get those thoughts and urges.

My friends are a big part of my coping skills in fighting various thoughts and urges so to all my friends be it on line, in real life, by email, regular mail, phone or in person I give lots of love and thanks to them for being who they are, where they are and how they are in my life and resources of coping skills.

Hang in there tamzinerose you are not alone, Im here and this thread is heare, and when the times get rough how about those friends and affirmatrions.

almost forgot to check in today and did forget yesterday oops. Both days were no thoughts and urges so I am a 1 right now. I have been taking advantage of the nice weather biking and coming on line. something about biking and having the sun shining helps so much in backing those thoughts and urges out of the way for a bit. take care everyone.