First off, you don't teach children by doing things for them....they have to learn by doing & trying things themselves. A therapist can coach & provide suggestions.....but it's impossible for them to rescue you in the first place.

They can't take the pain away....they can't make you feel differently about things than how you really feel....if something hurts you....all they can suggest is different ways of looking at something that could possible cause less pain....but they can't force you to think that way.

They can't change your behavior....that is something ONLY YOU CAN DO. It takes repetition & repetition over & over that YOU have to do to make the change.....they can only suggest what possible changes might help with the things in your behavior that are causing problems.

Horrible thoughts.....only you have control over your thoughts.....only thing they can do is try to teach you skills that can help you change your horrible thoughts....but they can't change them for you.

Growing up as children.....these are skills that we should have acquired as children....but most parents & many times our own inabilities growing up keep us from learning these skills....maybe not anyone' fault in reality. No one can tell us how to take or give us words.....we can just observe as to what works in the world around us & what doesn't & what we really would like to emulate & what we don't want to be like at all. Know that many of these thoughts were what I had in my mind observing the world around me when I was growing up. Sadly, when we are surrounded by dysfunctional lives that don't give us good examples.....we have nothing good to base our learning on.......only later on in our lives do we even realize that what we learned doesn't work well....it's harder to make the changes the older we get....but it's still possible....only then, we still can only get suggestions & then work on our thinking & then practice to make the changes by being comletely aware of ourselves & our surroundings & how we are relating to them.....it's just not something that anyone can do for us or rescue us from.....they can only help teach us what we need to know & help point out when we aren't quite getting is so that we can continue to work on the changes we need to work on to practice, repeat, & become more aware of ourselves in relation to others.

That was the one thing I liked about DBT...is that it helps make us aware of our relationships with others & how we relate to our surroundings & provides us with thoughts & skills to help get through those difficult issues.....maybe DBT might be a good thing for you.....

The thing is that there is no way that rescuing works because no one can do the work we need to do or make us learn what we need to learn for us....it's something we have to become aware of & learn for ourselves so that we really KNOW. Many times people tell me things & if I don't understand what they are talking about, it just sounds like blah, blah, blah.......one reason who rescuing doesn't work....because most of the time the rescue sounds like blah, blah, blah, & the next time we end up in the a similar situation, we still don't really KNOW for ourselves what we need to do.

Hope this makes some level of sense