((goodgirl62)) - I'm sorry you're struggling with this. There's a few ways of looking at this. I'm not sure what kind of hurt you're talking about, so I can't assume this is a forgivable act that's been done to you. Sometimes the wrong is so great that an adult child has to alienate their parents to preserve their own mental health. A person should be 100% certain they 'll be okay if that person were to die - meaning would you regret not making peace.

I'll give my opinion on general forgiveness. First - a person can forgive the other even if they haven't said sorry. For example with abuse situations the perpetrator often never gets around to saying sorry.

A person can make the decision to forgive, for their own sake so they can feel an inner peace. Forgiveness in this case done mean condoning what was done. This is good so you can finally let go of the wrong doing, so you no longer have to seethe about it. I can't judge what you should do because I don't know what happened.

It might be helpful if you can look at your mom as a person, rather than your parent - meaning she may have gone through some severe problems of her own that made her the person she is. I hope this gives you something to ponder and I wish you peace with this problem.