((((((((((zoo))))))))))))))

Try to give yourself today off. She is not going to return your calls today. She said she would email tomorrow. Email her tomorrow about another appt. later in the week. I do think that is a reasonable request, however, she may not be able to accomodate it.
It sounds like you think she is trying to punish you for cancelling today. Your emotions are all over the place. I completely understand. I do not think she is trying to punish you..... I think she is trying to establish boundaries. That being said, it is completely unfair that she has not told you ahead of time what they are.
My opinion is.........that if you want to, if you can keep little zoo safe, the two of you can repair this and both of you will be better for it. However, I do think it will be very painful for you and require some deep soul searching. Isn't that what therapy is for though? I can understand if your not ready to face that yet. This is NOT your fault, or hers. Sometimes........it is a combination of both. Sending love your way.