Thanks for your replies..
And as far as the mom thing goes, I know my son knows I love him, but I want to be able to have energy to play with him, to not be so irritated, and not at him but with myself and this anxiety, so I take it out on my family, its destroying my relationship.
My boyfriend doesn't understand, for awhile he tried, but its like he just doesn't care anymore.. I need to leave, but I don't know how. I guess thats a whole new topic huh!!